THE YALE GROUP: GETTING INTO THE ADULT WORLD
Getting into the Adult World, Twenty-two to Twenty-eight:
A young man now tries to establish an occupational direction and form more mature friendships and sexual relationships—including, perhaps, marriage. The developmental task of this period is to arrive at a preliminary definition of himself as an adult, and fashion an initial life structure based on his interests and goals. This is a time for exploration and for making tentative choices.
Many men, but not all, enter this period with a dream of their personal future. Usually related to work, this dream might revolve around winning the Nobel prize, becoming president of the company, or writing a great novel. Such a dream is considered a vitalizing force for further growth. Without it, in fact, life can be oppressive and bland. In later years the reactivation of this guiding dream, and concern with its failure, may become a key issue. Major shifts around forty are often caused by a man’s feeling that he has betrayed or compromised his dream.
An especially significant finding: The Yale group discovered that a man’s having a mentor during this period is highly correlated with his future growth—and his success. Eight to fifteen years older, this mentor may be a teacher, boss, editor, or experienced co-worker who represents a level of achievement to which the younger man aspires. He invites the younger man into his world, shows him around, and— most crucial—gives his blessing to the dream. In this way the mentor not only helps foster the younger man’s development, but also reinforces his sense of manhood.
“Generally speaking,” says McKce, “it is assumed that once a person separates from his father, and leaves home, he is independent. But that’s simply not true. What seems to be consistently overlooked is the parental function of the organization the man becomes involved with—and also the fact that, despite his newfound ‘independence,’ he starts almost immediately to seek out these semiparental mentor figures. And develops much farther, by the way, if he succeeds in finding them.”
*29\93\2*
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.