THE SEXUAL NEEDS OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES – EMOTIONAL NEEDS (FEELINGS)
Feelings of diffidence in the doctor may come from within, but are often a reflection of the patient’s diffidence. There can be a strong feeling of the need for approval on the patient’s part, and from the doctor’s viewpoint there seems to be a need to be the permission giver. When people have disabilities there is a sense in which their body no longer belongs to them, for other people take it over and do things to it. It is difficult for the patient to obtain or accept responsibility for his own choices and actions. Such a handing over of responsibility is particularly common when there is a mental handicap, where the expectation of compliance is an everyday experience, the person being expected to do as he is told and to have decisions made for him.
Encouragement by the doctor to explore choices and to make decisions, to try, and to see the act of trying as a success, is the greatest help. The person may need to return again and again for the continued reassurance that ‘it is OK’. There is a hint of seeking parental approval, but with encouragement a growth of confidence and the acceptance of a sexual role can develop, as well as an ability to make worthwhile relationships.
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