Not only the amount but also the nature of stimulation between the infant and mother is important. When the infant is suckling, it reciprocates by putting fingers into the mother’s mouth; she responds by moving her lips on the baby’s fingers. The baby moves its fingers; she responds with a smile. All the while the baby studies her face with rapt attention. Infants pat the mother’s breast while sucking, pat her face, turn a cheek to be kissed, clasp her around the neck, lay a cheek on hers, hug, and bite. “Such little scenes can be observed in endless variations in any mother-child couple”. Some of the expressions of affection through patting and hugging may be spontaneous, while others are learned in the infant’s encounters with mother and other adults.
If a responsive woman is the mother of a non-cuddling infant, there is considerable challenge to her adaptability, as with a cuddly baby and a nonresponsive mother. Some mothers make it clear that breast feeding is at best a duty and is not physically nor emotionally pleasurable. If the suckling experience seems unworthy or shameful to her, the mother may not be able to acknowledge it or may feel the need to find acceptable excuses. In the United States, illness or physical inadequacy are commonly accepted as “good” reasons for not suckling infants.
In contemporary American culture, the breasts play a more prominent part in the erotic encounters of adults than they do in suckling experiences with infants. In societies in which suckling is generally accepted, infant-mother separation is not easily tolerated by either participant. In speaking to Ganda women, Ainsworth relates that a number of mothers said they enjoyed breast feeding, and one confessed with embarrassment that it was so satisfactory to her that though her child was over twelve months of age she was reluctant to wean him. Matthews, in describing the infant-mother sensory contact among the Yorubas of Nigeria, reports that a strict breast-feeding routine would be difficult to attain because the mothers, determined and obstinate, were not easily separated from their babies for long. The baby remains from birth until about the second year of life almost constantly in close physical contact with the mother who feeds it at irregular intervals, usually determined by the infant’s crying.
Among the Dahomey, mothers regularly carry their infants about with them, and the infants seldom have other nurses. Close bodily contact and suckling are continued for two to three years. There is no cohabiting between husband and wife during this period if the man has other wives. To what extent the infant becomes a “lover” surrogate in such long absences from marital coitus is a moot question. Infant and mother frequently stay in continuously close sensory contact in many societies characterized by late weaning.
Besides the suckling encounters, in a few primitive societies adults participate actively in the erotic stimulation of infants and young children. Among the Kazak, adults who are playing with small children, especially boys, excite the young one’s genitals by rubbing and playing with them. Autogenital stimulation by the young child is accepted also as a normal practice. Among the Balinese, playing and teasing with the genitals is common. A mother will pat her baby girl on the vulva and exclaim, “Pretty! Pretty!”. A boy’s penis will be stroked and rubbed. After he has urinated, he will be dried by a flick of his penis. As he grows older, his penis will be pulled and stretched and ruffled, and often he will attempt to keep his balance when learning to walk by holding on to it. Babies are comforted and quieted by manipulating the genital organs. In fact, in Bali, a baby, especially a baby’s genitals, are toys with which to play. There is much delight taken in stimulating and playing with the baby to watch it respond.
There has been a strong taboo in the United States on suckling an infant in public or even on including photographs in magazines of infants suckling, whereas bottle feeding in public and pictures of bottle-feeding infants are acceptable. In America, a young mother often starts suckling her infant without having once observed another woman suckling an infant. Lactation failure, or the inability to suckle infants, fluctuates greatly over short periods of time, suggesting that it is triggered by psychological rather than by physiological factors. For instance, national surveys indicate that the rate of breast-feeding infants in the United States fell by almost half during a ten-year period. Likewise, during twenty years in Bristol, England, the number of three-month-old breastfed infants dropped from seventy-seven to thirty-six percent. In an obstetric clinic in France the proportion of babies not suckled increased from thirty-one to fifty-one percent in five years. This change is so rapid that it cannot be attributed to hereditary factors and major physiological changes in function would be unlikely in the absence of radical stresses such as starvation or epidemic disease.
It is reasonable to assume that there is in the United States a preoccupation with words and articulated culture rather than with touch. There has been a prudery and anxiety about physical contact and erotic matters. With this assumption in mind, Clay observed the behavior of forty-five children and their mothers at three public beaches patronized by persons of different social classes. One of the patterns he observed was the lack of contact between infant and mother on the beach. The majority of encounters between infant and mother were of two kinds: first, taking care of the infants and, second, controlling their behavior. Far less frequent were intimate contacts expressing love and attachment. Parents rewarded “desexualized” motor performance that kept the infant away from the mother. Girl children received more physical touches than did boys, and they were in physical contact with their mothers longer than were the boys. For mothers of young children, having a good time at the beach did not appear to include mothers enjoying their offspring in a direct, personal, affective, tactile, and sensual encounter. Upper- and working-class mothers were more inclined to comfort their children with tactile contacts; middle-class mothers offered distractions, mostly food. Middle-class mothers seemed more interested in meeting friends at the beach than in relating to their children. Small children were expected to play alone away from the parents. These observations and conclusions, however, must be regarded as suggestive rather than definitive.
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